DECLARATION:
FOR YOUR OFFERED INSIGHT, IT WILL DEFINITELY RETURN TO YOUR HUMDRUM SCHOOL DAYS.
Actually, it is quite the same to compare with the school days and holidays. It is still dull and tedious. You know life is, quite boring in such only way, for me.
Whenever I go into the msn, I find no friends to chat with, poignant story huh. It's good to realise the manifest fact before it's too late. By the way, people will not read my blog I privately restricted, so I could just write brashly and recklessly. I think if someone sees my blog, she or he must just subconsciously drop by my blog. Anyways, thanks for reading. You're really good to endure my imprudent jabbering, whether it's informal or formal, but really thank you.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
The words were resonant in my ears , vibrates everlastingly.
What if my world turn upside down?
Before the exams, I still clutched the books on my hands, studying. I went to school early in the morning like it still in the daybreak. I took everything for the studying stuff. Focus.
'Wah, Alexander. You study in this early-in-the-morning?'
'I think Alexander will go insane before we do.'
A sense of reminiscence aroused my attention, when people thought I was driven insane. Exactly, your words were right to deal with. I went insane without any senses.
What kind of person am I? I am miserable in nowhere although I know there was varied paths for me to continue my walking;yet, I am weary inside..I was daunted and melancholy with decisions made, and my growing fury which seething inside, and it might erupted in due course, sooner or later.
Perhaps my rapacity does seemingly show no ends. I know I could do it better, just my endeavours work out ;yet, I have lost in where I from and where I should go. It's all a self-delusion as I have misjudged my ability.
If I could only have a solution to rupture this entanglement, whether it should be hammered or burned it up. Scatterbrained me.
What if my world turn upside down?
Before the exams, I still clutched the books on my hands, studying. I went to school early in the morning like it still in the daybreak. I took everything for the studying stuff. Focus.
'Wah, Alexander. You study in this early-in-the-morning?'
'I think Alexander will go insane before we do.'
A sense of reminiscence aroused my attention, when people thought I was driven insane. Exactly, your words were right to deal with. I went insane without any senses.
What kind of person am I? I am miserable in nowhere although I know there was varied paths for me to continue my walking;yet, I am weary inside..I was daunted and melancholy with decisions made, and my growing fury which seething inside, and it might erupted in due course, sooner or later.
Perhaps my rapacity does seemingly show no ends. I know I could do it better, just my endeavours work out ;yet, I have lost in where I from and where I should go. It's all a self-delusion as I have misjudged my ability.
If I could only have a solution to rupture this entanglement, whether it should be hammered or burned it up. Scatterbrained me.
Friday, March 11, 2011
My world wasn't vividly coloured these days.
Silence, I got use with it.
How people think me in their perspective? There was an aversion and antagonism between me and other people. I can't make myself into the normal world. There was someone who don't talk to me since that day. She was just too hypersensitive or what the slightest provocation could stir her up just on the spur of the moment. I didn't disdain on her, but she looked just the negative point of view, which really freak me out. And she didn't talk to me anymore, like the last time event recurrently happened again. I didn't talk to her not because of I hate her like she did, I just didn't want our friendship aggravated to the worst. On accredit of no communication between us, the hatred still going on like last for perpetual ages.
Recently, I greeted goodbye to her, but what she gave me no response, even a glance. What she thought she was? Aim was to show her aggressiveness, or hostility, or nonchalance? Okay, this was a stupid act for some people who wasn't need any tactful greets. Ha, I was so a fool to taught her English and knowledge which she didn't appreciate.
So, the resolution for this circumstances was to carry out some psychoanalysis by professional psychologist, if I was mentally ill or not.
I could not stand anymore, and there were exams again. My brain really hurts! No one would know, even no offered insight about how I felt, how it hurts, how my vulnerable hearts broke.
I tried so hard to concentrate on my study, and my mum kept on saying ' study is the only way for achieving a better future','What you would do besides study?'.'You need to study to stay on this society.' Bla bla bla, she preached a lot, blabbering at my ears continuously.. She only knows the word STUDY. Who was her sons and daughters will die eventually.
I depressed when I didn't reap what I sow. I struggled so hard in books and my brain blanked when it was exam. The things that I studied, even 3 weeks before the exam I started studying, but the consequences was showing failure. It was so disappointing!!
Shut up was the best response of all. I felt my body fully numb with the atmosphere, the unsettled situations and bleak circumstances. If only I could cry, but whimpering cry was worse than howling weep. Boys should not shed tears, only can disguise all the grim feelings inside.
My intuition shows - Times will not be the solution to cure my wound.
Silence, I got use with it.
How people think me in their perspective? There was an aversion and antagonism between me and other people. I can't make myself into the normal world. There was someone who don't talk to me since that day. She was just too hypersensitive or what the slightest provocation could stir her up just on the spur of the moment. I didn't disdain on her, but she looked just the negative point of view, which really freak me out. And she didn't talk to me anymore, like the last time event recurrently happened again. I didn't talk to her not because of I hate her like she did, I just didn't want our friendship aggravated to the worst. On accredit of no communication between us, the hatred still going on like last for perpetual ages.
Recently, I greeted goodbye to her, but what she gave me no response, even a glance. What she thought she was? Aim was to show her aggressiveness, or hostility, or nonchalance? Okay, this was a stupid act for some people who wasn't need any tactful greets. Ha, I was so a fool to taught her English and knowledge which she didn't appreciate.
So, the resolution for this circumstances was to carry out some psychoanalysis by professional psychologist, if I was mentally ill or not.
I could not stand anymore, and there were exams again. My brain really hurts! No one would know, even no offered insight about how I felt, how it hurts, how my vulnerable hearts broke.
I tried so hard to concentrate on my study, and my mum kept on saying ' study is the only way for achieving a better future','What you would do besides study?'.'You need to study to stay on this society.' Bla bla bla, she preached a lot, blabbering at my ears continuously.. She only knows the word STUDY. Who was her sons and daughters will die eventually.
I depressed when I didn't reap what I sow. I struggled so hard in books and my brain blanked when it was exam. The things that I studied, even 3 weeks before the exam I started studying, but the consequences was showing failure. It was so disappointing!!
Shut up was the best response of all. I felt my body fully numb with the atmosphere, the unsettled situations and bleak circumstances. If only I could cry, but whimpering cry was worse than howling weep. Boys should not shed tears, only can disguise all the grim feelings inside.
My intuition shows - Times will not be the solution to cure my wound.
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