Shed this piece of Feaces officially

It's just childish when people reveal too much of their negative emotions in this judgmental world. I mean they are showing their weaknesses to others. People may take these to make you out a laughing stock. I mean it's not the first time for me to experience being laughed at. It's much crueler than I could have imagined at which the disdain and atrocious sympathy are coming from whom you deem as true friends. Be that as it may, the cold water buckets down on you that they were your true friends. They just somehow don't know you well enough to judge about you.

The sadness overwhelmed me when they told me that I'm such a pity. I'm sick of being a trash to covet someone's sympathy. Yes, it's so easy for me to reveal my own feelings. It makes me wonder if I should keep all my true feelings to myself because nobody cares about one who wears his heart on his sleeve. Otherwise, they would just take pity on him. 

This sounds more like a grumble about the people and the world. Maybe I'm just not grown up enough to understand it. Maybe I'm not mature enough to feign indifference to hurtful critics and to accept them willingly. Maybe I'm not thoughtful of putting up a brave front before somebody else. It speared through me that I don't even have a real friend who shares empathy for me and my weaknesses and together we get over it. My only best friend, as well as the trustworthy listener for me to deeply confide in, is God. He always listens to my prayer even when it's awash with tears and sentiments. Thank God

Well, my weaknesses are disclosed. I know I'm a very introverted person who kicks up a fuss about the bother of not fitting into the social circle and the concern about not having many friends. I've never complained about my situation in real life, but just simply voice out when I'm writing a status on Facebook. People take it too seriously by now and think that I'm a social outcast. However, it does bug me for the reason I'm not capable of communicating and interacting amicably with someone else. FYI, I'm dealing with slight social anxiety disorder. It's knotty when you can't assertively raise your hand to answer questions in the class when you feel your hands sweaty for going out in public, when you are painfully embarrassed about people's slightest critics and judgement about you, and when you attempt to avoid those penetrating eyes staring at u.

So it's sad as people can just make a critical conclusion about you without looking into your past, into the endless endeavor to get a transformation, and into your real personality. It's not sensible to make me out from a vague Facebook status or hearsay. Don't they think speaking with me and hanging out with me is the best way to know me more? The latter I'm speaking of might know too little about me to run into that conclusion. Some part of my mind tells me this piece: I am who I am, take it or leave it. But after much pondering, I think it'd be better to better myself for an unparalleled metamorphosis. Put simply, I appreciate their sympathy and I will move on for a better me. 

I'm writing this not to pour out this scum of my negative emotions, but to direct my voice to anyone else who is also up against the same circumstances. They are not alone.