F U N

Just fun, despite I had a heavy drowsy headache. Somehow because I didn't have a good sleep, probably slight insomnia, caused by bewilderment, confused whether it was I having so much fun thing that evoked me during night or just purely what it was, insomnia.

I had time to blog now, finally.

Yesterday's schedule was full, ultimately. I had to wake up after hours from the daybreak, about 5am, I think. In the groggy state, I prepared myself to went for the LHDN-family-day program. I magicked up myself with aura of consciousness and bliss. I went there with my family. This program was organized by my father's colleagues. LHDN is probably my father's government company. The firm's staffs had created a pretty good ambiance. My two younger sisters were joining the colouring contest that also a part of the games from the program, and I got to help them within. My sisters all got prizes fortunately, and to be honour, I love the art that we had made (even though there wasn't much time for me to enjoy the view of my picturesque art).but... Ma love it!

I surveyed the games they played, my parents also participated. I rejected their offer to play games because I am not someone who gregarious and I doesn't love games, especially the really tiring ones. Anyways, I also indulged by my survey towards the atmosphere, the cooperation between one another, their laughter, and mainly, the foods. I usually don't eat fast food as I conceived they are unhealthy food, but the taste are just irresistible. Not only tasty were the delicacy, but I enjoyed the savor and stimulate my taste buds and my appetite revived, especially the fried chicken, I must say, Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC), I do love you so much.

The program just going on, the going including the Lucky Draw, the Prize-Giving, and much more happiness. About 2pm, the program ended and we went back delightfully, and I escaped from the last of all ,the photography session (despise to take photos towards my ugly face).

I had a while of nap, but it didn't last long because around 5 pm, I would go for the public-caroling. I never experience before how a public-caroling should be, as from my mother's words, it is like a trip to walk around the district of Miri big city. I thought it was an exhausting trip, and it must be long one, or else, my sister never rejected to go. She thought it was boring to dangle a 'gigantic embellishment' throughout the whole trip. The 'embellishment' probably is decorative details or features added to the Christmas-caroling to make the parade more attractive, but I thought it was just extravagant and a little sumptuous for the church to do these. = ="

I went there with my family (except my younger sister) around 4,30 pm, and I complained it was too early when we arrived and my mum retorted,' This was not a holy Cristian should be, this is a work for sacred God...' Yaa, she starting to chatter and unpleasantly nagging. I knew soo well she is a devout Cristian and couldn't I deny about it.

To cut short my story, the trip take about 1 hour and a half to finish and whenever we saw a crowd, we would greet,' Merry Christmas!' and won't forget to dangle the startling fluorescent stick, brightly shine in lots of colours. Some of the passer-by scowled with anger, maybe because we had made the traffic jam, besieged the drivers, but sorry because the public carol-singing out of sensitivity to the supposed tender consciences of other religions fail to notice that most people of other religions and cultures both love the story and respect the message, as the archbishop, Dr William uttered. Not only to the Britain who are 'weary annual attempts' to ban the Nativity plays or carol-singing, but to the Miri citizens, too.I saw Emmanuel seated with the people who are from Grace Church. I won't greet him, because I still scornful towards the harassment, can't be denied, I'm a sulky person.

It ended about 8 pm, I guess. Just fun to recall the past, just fun to blog, just fun to think it's fun, indeed fun, always.

Alone.

Alone, it is a good word in my opinion, and it means to relieve and free from any bother and agitation; tranquility. I always hope for solitariness, for ever. I loathe the people to obtrude the tranquility I had built up for. Because of the solitariness, I can feel the peace and placidity.

Nonetheless, if there is a bother, and it pester me for some lunatic reasons, I will damn well go crazy! This also leads me to have no friends, but it is so keen that I desire for, because I can get rid of the fake and hypocritical mask and to be the real me. The real me, is just a humourous person of a kind, and love to tell jokes to make people laugh and the job will never let spirits down.

Friends are whom can't be bother, because they always need you to put so much efforts and times with them, not only to perpetuate the conversation although with so much unwilling thoughts. Someone like me occasionally  try to relinquish and end up a conversation, and each conversation will not last long. Just answering the unpleasant interrogation and it will always end up with, 'I'm busy right now, later?' or 'gotta go now, see you later', even ruder, 'Bye' just in short message, easy right? but it can hurt one's heart.

You will always need to seem gregarious, so will need to smile to them. Do people know that smile is an exhausted task? I mean, do people always need to smile, because it seem so unwilling and hypocritical. Even though I know that pure smile can brighten a person's mood even herself aura, but for me, it is so insincere. I will guess if they have some slyly schemes, because people are as cunning as fox.

I only believe in God, because everything is predestined, and I know HE will definitely prepare the best for me.

So, remain emo...

Apology

I make things worse, especially friendship. I always offer insight that people think I'm a hypocrite. That day, I sent a message and post it in someone's facebook wall, just want to amuse someone to grin, but I make the trouble, and she might think that I'm willing to infuriate her. I didn't know anything but I pretended to know everything. it was so a debacle, indeed she might thought I meant to make her angry. To retrieve the wounded friendship and preventing it to deteriorate, I would try to apologise. Whenever an apology is emanated from myself, she would hate me because she thought that I never expiated, but I did, just I didn't know how to express it.

Friendship is a total failure for me, I don't know how to perpetuate a friendship. I didn't  know these things and because of them, I get giddy within. I don't know and couldn't know what people's thought. I want to use a duct tape to recover all the worst I had caused, but I perplexed how to get it right. The bleak circumstances, causing a sense of desolation and hope I could bemoan towards someone; yet, no ones could I shared towards.

Towards someone who I made them furious:
Sorry. Maybe you rejected my apology but I still need to apologise to set my mind and relieved. I just want to make our friendship perpetual but as the debacle from me, didn't know how to do. I know you spurn at me, but I must say I know my character isn't intact, but still, sorry.

The 'someone' probably are:
1) Dinosour -although you are really a squalor, but sorry for my contempt and ostracism.
2) Emo -You must think I'm hypocritical, but yes, I'm one of a hypocrite and sorry for disappointing you.
3) Sharon -Sorry I didn't greet you whenever I saw you.
4) QiLi -I know you don't have a computer with internet connection; thus, you won't see this but sorry because I show-off in front of you.

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more and more but I can't remember their names once... If I do remember, I will post the names in this post as promptly as possible.

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I miss the real me, and I feel dismally empty, because what if the real me does, how he make things better? I miss the cheerful me, the person who could amuse people to break into broad smiles; but who am I now, is someone I don't know.

Holidays

Third day of holiday.

Holidays are a period which is boring, because there was nothing meaningful to do, only some nonsensical stuff to do, such as: stare at the computer do nothing, although the eyes are going on reading the blog and more la. Anyways, I hope this holiday ,people can enjoy it and make it fun than the usual should be.

Before the exam, it was all so tiring. After the 'dead period' (I called it as the exam), it was so boring.

P/s You guys should give me some blogged website for me to read.
Requirement: it must be an interesting blog to read.
Ways to liaise: Through msn, e-mail, facebook (with internet connection)

I call it as a post.

A blog with no point

It has been a long time before I started my new post here.I was happy to say, it was holiday, but the entanglement of the study did not cease to pester me and it will last like.. incessantly. I misconceived the purpose of study. This holidays, I will try to fling off those colossal stresses that seem bugging me for so long.

Relentlessly, the result of the second semester's test'd shown brutal ,whist earth-shattering news for me. Maybe it's a tendency that inclining me to believe that the exams meant everything; yet, it's superficial,not exactly what the elders say, it means on a contrary way - to produce a witty next generation and to be delicate on any duty we will oblige in the future, but not compete between one another and vie the best result with something hoax and avarice-hearted.

As a conclusion,...

A fool

That day,I was fooled by someone.

Was it because I'm too timid or vulnerable? I'm imperturbable that after the mischief that had utterly done. If have the opportunity, I will screech in arrant rant!
It started off after the History lesson. I was almost perished in the heap of History's issue. Leave out the exaggeration of the fatigue, I was laid askance on the table, which led me in supine posture, need my attention to be drawn into the History book.
After the vivid colour in the book, the next thing I glimpsed recklessly was Emmanuel, when he promptly drubbed my back. I gave him an unruffled glare on his eyes, My body was total weary and it negate me to slapped him into bits! If the time wheel reversed on, I tell you, I would.

I could say my nerve cells doesn't worked well that time, laze worked. My bladder urgently full, and rapidly, I accelerated my pace to the toilet. In my blurred vision, I saw the students in Art class threw peculiar stared towards me. I asked myself, was my appearance too compelling...Crap The passer-by all daze when they saw me, what have I done? When I went back to class, I saw my classmates were mocked at me, I dishevel my hair in curiousness. Then, a good-heart person, Kar Yee ,seized the The Thing on my back. I was conscious, I was a moron who fooled by Emmanuel's practical joke!

I went into the classroom, I was the moron who deserve a roomful of stares. I sheer their stares sheepishly, and I gain insight from their stares that they had knew I had been fooled by someone's prank.

Then, a lot of hubbub arose after I was seated. I was indignant with my enmity! I didn't want to distracted from more others' attention, so I kept my silence, and ingested all the resentment into my stomach. I couldn't preoccupied on my studies after, because I really couldn't! Emmanuel, the crime, went towards me,in crop failure. I was surrendered to his devilry. I could only said he was the mischievous and childish of the most!

I asked Yuen Ling, a friend who sited behind me and observed all his hoax. She berated Emmanuel's doing, which was also a mercy to me but I asked her why she didn't expatiated what Emmanuel done. She said the going was too rapid, and she had no chance to talk. She also explained that The Thing was something like memo but a bigger in size. Curious.

'Then, what had been written on it?' I asked with doubt.
'I don't know. It was too hush-hush, barely I could see,' she answered.

Yet, those are flummery, I knew. I was planned to have revenge on him; yet, she exhorted me not to avenge because it seemed to be so insidious, and is better to endured what the crime had done. Crime does not pay, he will get retribution from what he had done for his devilment，

It will be an evocative memories for me in the future.

End of story.

Co-curricular book.

Last someday (Forgot the date), we were very busy for the Co-curriculum book. They enquired the teachers who was obliged in the related co-curricular activities. Seem them very hectic for their co-curricular marks, I also went for the teacher to seal for the co-curricular books as an evidence for the authorities to know that you was really attended the activities.
   
I saw Elisha, a friend who was copied the activities from Su Yi's co-curricular book. I knew very much that Su Yi attended so many BSMM (Bulan Sabit Merah Malaysia) activities and also got the obliged teacher's signature. Suddenly, a rapacious thought came into my mind, I wished that I can also have attended the activities, thus I would get the co-curricular marks from what I had attended, but I comprehended that it was impossible.

I glance unjustly what Elisha had done, the next thing came into my sight was that he was going to asked for the signature. The teacher suspected he did not attended the activities, but he explained so much for his reasons, again recognised that he had attended. Okay, Elisha was no doubt a member of debate club, and he recently went for a chinese debate challenge, of course, his way of disputation never defeated. So much efforts, the teacher permitted to sign for every activities that he had copied from Su Yi and sealed on it.

The greed raised in my heart, in additional desire, I could not resist anymore, I did what Elisha had did... I was very happy because teacher did not realise that it was all fake! Not only form 2, I also swindle to get marks for the form 1. It was total enthusiasm and my heartbeat increase rapidly by the excitement. Just I came into my class, another friend whose name is Sherry, scowled whilst aggrieved and protested that it was totally unfair... I just kept her words nonsensical and non sequitur did asked Su Yi what's was going to do next about the co-curricular book.

Another friend, Linley, who was sat beside her, she gave me a perception  of incontrovertible conscious that aroused me from slumber... 'You have showed up then is attend, absent then leave it absence ,can you please don't made the absence turned into present?'(Google translate)

Finally, I realized that I was unconscious because the benefits in sight.. Sure I knew that everything I should struggle to got it myself, but I did not realize what I had done just to achieve acme, but at least, I had learnt a lesson.

Happy Birthday to myself

Yesterday was my birthday. No greetings, no cards, just a little birthday cake accompany my birthday. At least, I have birthday songs.. Am I too easily to satisfy? I more-or-less forgot my birthday until my sister reminded me. I was surprising.

I felt alone when my eldest sister went for the Lion Dance's camp, my mum was at Sri Aman visited my gandfather who was sicked.They can't celebrate birthday with me and I knew their difficulty. But not really alone, as I have my father, my two younger sister who sang birthday's rhythms to me, I was grateful. Birthday's song are simple whilst short; yet, sweet. Very appreciate what I have in hand, my family and also the birthday cake.

It was fewer and fewer friends know my birthday's date and the fewest greet me Happy Birthday. Now, I truly realize that I don't have many precious friends. I still thankful to God that I was found out that yesterday was my birthday and with lots of joyful astonishment and celebrated it peacefully and tranquilly.

Happy Birthday to myself, Alexander. You have just turned into 15!

Holiday

I am not as the people who was idyllic because of the holidays. They don't mean anything. My overwhelm stress still not liberate. I still tacit, silent, speechless, quiet... Maybe I should go for a park? Eyeing those people greeting and forced smile, listening the pleasantries and laughter... I prefer to stay at home facing the wall, stare at it faded with whitewash... BORING!

Maybe go for shopping then? Glimpse across the attire, garments, promotions.. BORING. Squander their money on those clothes, the hubris people are holding their shopping bags, yaa.. seriously, they just show off their wealth.

Maybe I go for a roam at the seaside? The fascinated scene do really irresistible. But, I was sicked these days..

AWWW... DARN! Projects everywhere@ How can I release all that at the back of my head? It can't...

The school rule - Books should be bring back before exams should be abolish.

Finally, my final battle towards the devil of exams was ended that Friday; yet, I met new quest, 'the school officially expropriated my books and recognised that they won't give back the books.

The topic repeated,SHOULD IT BE NECESSARY TO BRING ALL THE POSSESSION HOME? I was apprehensive and had been intimidated by the affair but I could do nothing. Moreover, the event happen before the exam start, it really affected my frame-of-mind. My mind turn bizarre, more-or-less, blank.

What kind of law is that? There's no mean to brought back the books before the exams. The reason to do that is the school wanted to make sure that everyone have their revision and study for their exams. If someone who neither care nor aware about their studies, they will not even flip one page of the books, not even one jerk even though they take back their books.

Besides,I was not carry them back because it was excessive heavy loads. I just needed to bring them back day by day. After the exams of certain subject, I will brought them back home and put them on my book shelves. By then, they uttered that this was a punishment. They should really contemplate this rules and I though I'm an obedient student who do not deserve demerit.

I just obtuse of a kind. You can't blame me, as the speech of the people on the stage during assembly is not noticeable, the hubbubs in front have huddled whilst covered the pricipal's voice. Doesn't it bother if after the exam ,you still need to bring back books to school, and you still meet the holidays again and need to bring back... the going just a harass. Fortunately they returned the books and as a reparation, I have been demerit unfortunately by those duds. At least, I'm still a good boy in teachers' sight, am I?

Answer - Of Course.

And, I firmly insisted that the school rule- Books should be bring back before exams should  must be abolished.

Past

This time, the scapegoat he found is another girl, and it has been change to another target for becoming a very victim. He now says that she is the one who complain about the teacher, it was just a rumour from the others. Just forget it..

Exam week, DEATH. I have attempted so much on study until though I'm insane. I hope I can do the best of me in this exam. I am one-of-a-kind that knew the questions of test paper, are this is a kind of fraud? Keeping everything inside the first, a pain.

Confront the facts please, myself! You are not the competitors in study, you are just a wimp that scared of failure. I felt so stressed these days; yet, the exams still needs me.

Be at ease.. Everything will pass by and be the past.

Complain

Such a WIMP! Whoever complain the teachers in A class is such a wimp that he/she doesn't want to admit. I am very tired of the rumor. They all spread that I'm the one who complain. I just want to split out loud, I'M NOT THE ONE WHO COMPLAIN ABOUT THE TEACHERS OF 2A CLASS! I don't want to repeat it again. Besides, if you people don;t ever believe in me, fine, just like that, I don't want to explain anything again. Whatever.

This wimp, is a very annoying person. Eat nothing better than do to complain about the teachers. Is that real the teachers not even teach us? they have devote on their duty, and why this wimp still complain about then? *****, admit it please, you have made us so much trouble. By then, I have lots of  pails of homework haven't do. I know I look like the one who really care and put so much time and efforts on my study, but if you really do know me, you will believe I'm not the one who like the people think of. I only do the study stuff in moderation. I won't overdone it, as i know when the water is too full and the water still get going, it will flow out. That's what I'm now, the real me.


Very fortunate, I was not shiver on the stage. As I was absent when the assembly was going on. Sorry, students in A class, I had disappointed you and the teachers. Hope they didn't mind. At least, the cultural clothes was not wore by anybody.

Kita satu negara.

Doze off. We have to practice for the coming performance on the national day. We are exhausted and silent since the words fly out from our mouth are wasting our energy.The lyrics are like these: 

Dunia Kian berubah,                         
Perubahan menglingkari,
melaksana Satu hati,
kejayaan terbukti.

Dunia, yang megah,
dengan misi, yang gagah,
kerana perpaduan , kita masih bersama.

Chorus:
Kita satu bangsa, kita satu negara. kita satu matlamat, 0ohh~~~
Kita satu bangsa, satu negara, kita satu Malaysia....

I don't want go up stage there to TREMBLE!!! Tired.

BCCC cooking program.

I was very appreciated when I finally finished these cooking stuff on Monday. It had been a very memorable day, since we had fun in cooking. Even though I didn't done any help for them, in contrast, I had made so much trouble for them. But, they didn't show any resentment to me. That's what I very grateful of. 

We were rushed in hurry when we realise that we were running out of time. We were tough speed which we knew it was not graceful at all. We confronted so many problems that gave a headache to us and the teacher, too. We could compete the others from our decoration, food either. So, we had uttered to give up. I was busy with the cleaning of the dishes. Had I mention that the apron is type of 'sissy'? Yikes! However, the judge was showing their broadly smile when we served them the dishes.

It went to the awards-giving for the creative-minded group and also the standard of delicious delicacy. We were surprise when the creative awards came to us group, our group leader didn't believe it as we were not expected this award would gave to us. Our face came with 'berseri-seri'!! Then, another awards gave to the 2st group, theme as western food. Looks like I had been so worried about the cooking...

Boring

Well, I don't know what to post because my life is like a boring drama, non of affection and any special to happen, and i also don't hope it will happen. I am very grateful what I have in my hand, but sometimes I scared the life will undulate so much that it can't be handle.

I eager that no one see my blog, as it is too... boring. Especially, when it comes to boring life. I've no time for losers who went the going gets tough just chuck in the sponge and drink themselves silly! When the going gets tough and the tough should damned well get going-as I intended to do it I could get my act together and stop being such a dithering wimp.
Okay, maybe I am bits of agitated with my bravery that ensue just in sudden. Control my overwhelm passion, I will still going my lifeless life.

Tomorrow our class have a KH cooking program stuff which I very frustrated with. In coincidence, no one will handle the decoration section, and simply I put my name in and now, finally i felt regret. What use of repent? Just berdoa I can participate well in that whatever it is. Positive perspective for me to think of, at least, I don't do the cooking, otherwise, the kitchen will burn and the mess is not very easy-handled. Decoration.. I don't have any idea. Just leave it behind. The people who says,' I PUSH YOU INTO THE SUN!' and 'I SLAP YOU THEN YOU KNOW', you know i am refer to, do you? Anyway, 'she will definitely very angry who doesn't coorperate with her, end life! *Lighted bulb* Some ideas are striking back of my forehead.

1)Gubahan bunga- go pluck any the rare flowers around school compound.
2)Pasu bunga- get the water bottle to cut it half and used it to put the   flowers (for environment protection).
3)Tablecloth- fo find some fullscape papers and paste them onto the table (not necessary for environment protection).

Is it too 'well-planned'? *Sigh* everything entrusted to God.


Amen.

Alexander Second Blog

Hello, everyone, I know it is difficult to check out my first blog, this is the second one. Simple is the best indeed. I don't want to be so sumptuous like the first one be, and I will try to update this blog as daily as I can possible to do.
If you are the first time to meet me, then a greeting is being very welcomed to send for you. Nice to meet you! Umm.. First of all, my name is Alexander, is about to 'aging' to 16 years old! I'm kind of Wimp when it comes to making friends with others. Superficial though it may be, people judge you your appearance before they know you better, and this is a timid one you can see in me. Exactly, I afraid to chat, as no dare to offend people. Just what you have seen, don't mock me, otherwise, I hide in the tunnel and never ever be arise again.
But I will be very friendly if in this computer, or pretend to. Just then, bye for now. Alexander Second Blog welcome you to go.