加油

是的，这才是刚开始。

PMR 离我逼近，只有那一月十四天倒数计时。

这是我自由的枷锁，束缚得我无法动弹。

从前的向往已是遥不可及，来者只是命我向前行。

荆棘载途的道路上，使我是迷惑得不知所措。

我怕，我慌，是无法用词句所形容。

加油吧！

TnT

School gotta reopen tomorrow, all in a sad case.

My homework hadn't dwindle and left them unerringly. Despite of the fact, I didn't feel disconcerting. I was seemed to be accustomed by the circumstances, and hence I showed no fear.

But the most terrifying things were likely going to start: the result of the previous exams. I really afraid I couldn't reap what I sowed. urgh, the result tomorrow will drive me deranged in the literal sense of the world.

I was; however, tried being composed. Therefore,  meditation in any case was necessary.

I am having some problems with my outfits and style, I know. Even though I have known about that a long time ago, but I still do nothing.

Some people have said I was so nerdy. Yes, I admit it ruefully. I never had the attempt to alter all the style I had although suffering from those uneasy snickering and chuckling. I don't know what's the reason, maybe I have embedded this habit since I'm young.

Could say I am diffident, perhaps. Besides, I am not that concerned about my appearance to the extend that allowing pimples grown rampantly.

Anyways fate will drift me on and on...

Supposed I really going to read some English novels. I commenced with a novel which known as the 'best seller' -Twilight.

I knew it was too late reading as it had outmoded and there were; anyway, new and latest novels from the sequence of twilight, such as the New Moon and so on I couldn't remember. It wasn't seemed to be too late for begining at the very threshold.

Twilight had been drawn critical acclaim, and hence I wouldn't appraise much and it was still recommended alluring whilst quite exaggerated that I thought some phrases could be omitted so it wouldn't be worn me out.

Recently, it was quite okay and I'm was still on with the summer holidays. Don't remind me with those 'stupid jerk', which people known them as 'homeworks'. I stacked them up to a precarious mound and it was bothered to dig them for one since it constituted uncountable in range. Sejarah project, Geografi project, KH kerja kursus... I didn't even know how to start off! Relief, I won't allow them continue to be triumphal as and when I was going to start off!

I was about to stop here since I had blabbered all a long time. Yet, it should had been like ages for me to be rapt on blogging.

The sake of ucapan awam bm

The white board written scratchily 'Ucapan Awam Bahasa Melayu'.

 I was the audience who watched my friends presented meticulously with words spoken eloquently. After the simply swift presentation, , all of us drew acclaim as our riposte.

'Orang seterusnya, saya mahu lelaki.' persisted the guidance 'Alexander'. It staunched and I felt like my whole body would collapse and sprawled. They clapped, awaiting a sense of wry humour. Remaining the grotesque grimace, I blundered towards the teacher for the title scrawly written on a plain memorandum ,'Mengapakah kita perlu membeli buatan Malaysia'. I had never tried this before - did the oral test without any paraphernalia. My brain turned blank, my perturb emotion had not been reassured, but the unpremeditated surprise assaulted me recurrently. I scurried maladroitly and was not omitted by a roomful of stares. I felt every steps of me were precipitous and every heartbeat thumped rhythmically.

The people in front of me were looming up intimidatingly. I tried to shunned those dreadful stares, I could feel my fist was wet with giving-off perspiration. i knew the public speaking entailed, but I could not even emitted any sound as an abhorrent dumb as, whose legs shuddered violently. 'Tajuk...' I threw one word out and there was a ripple of laughter spread irrepressibly.

'Tajuk...' their applause made my sentence trailed off.
'Tajuk...' they continued laughing.
'Dia pun belum cakap tajuk' The utterance blended seamlessly with the laughter.
My chest heaving as I sucked in deep lungfuls of air and I commenced my oral speech all again. 'Tajuk saya pada hari ini ialah mengapakah kita perlu membeli buatan Malaysia.'

That was a long dead silence before I consumed mouthful of saliva and continued.

'Hal ini kerana... kerana...' my ideas faded as I was tongue-tied after my words had been devoured by the agitate emotion, and hence I drawled momentarily.
'meningkatkan pendapatan negara.' JH succoured me in such an arduous situation. I apprehended promptly and winged a silent thank-you to her.
'bagi meningkatkan ...pendapat negara...' I stammered recklessly.
'pendapatan negara.' she rectified me.
'Pendapatan!' I blabbed rashly.

The acquainted silence hovered the confined room again.

I could not do this anymore, I should made the end..
'Terima kasih.' I uttered curtly on the spur of the moment.
'Habis?' the BM tec\acher glanced me with a jaundiced eye.
I set up a defensive barrier, refusing to accept those detrimental whilst scornful opinions. It was no doubt, the taunting censure could only deflate my ego. So, what's the big deal? I cloaked myself and quickened my pace back to my dull place where I was familiar with.

There was a 'D' in the record. Whatever, my self-esteem was ready to be taken a beating.




'Stick and stone could hurt my bones, but words could not hurt me.'

Declaration

DECLARATION:

FOR YOUR OFFERED INSIGHT, IT WILL DEFINITELY RETURN TO YOUR HUMDRUM SCHOOL DAYS.

Actually, it is quite the same to compare with the school days and holidays. It is still dull and tedious. You know life is, quite boring in such only way, for me.
Whenever I go into the msn, I find no friends to chat with, poignant story huh. It's good to realise the manifest fact before it's too late. By the way, people will not read my blog I privately restricted, so I could just write brashly and recklessly. I think if someone sees my blog, she or he must just subconsciously drop by my blog. Anyways, thanks for reading. You're really good to endure my imprudent jabbering, whether it's informal or formal, but really thank you.

The words were resonant in my ears , vibrates everlastingly.


What if my world turn upside down?

Before the exams, I still clutched the books on my hands, studying. I went to school early in the morning like it still in the daybreak. I took everything for the studying stuff. Focus.

'Wah, Alexander. You study in this early-in-the-morning?'

'I think Alexander will go insane before we do.'

A sense of reminiscence aroused my attention, when people thought I was driven insane. Exactly, your words were right to deal with. I went insane without any senses.

What kind of person am I? I am miserable in nowhere although I know there was varied paths for me to continue my walking;yet, I am weary inside..I was daunted and melancholy with decisions made, and my growing fury which seething inside, and it might erupted in due course, sooner or later.

Perhaps my rapacity does seemingly show no ends.  I know I could do it better, just my endeavours work out ;yet, I have lost in where I from and where I should go. It's all a self-delusion as I have misjudged my ability.

If I could only have a solution to rupture this entanglement, whether it should be hammered or burned it up. Scatterbrained me.