Soon kindled and soon burnt. -William Shakespeare
A little fire is quickly trodden out;
Which, being suffered, rivers cannot quench.
-William Shakespeare
To burn always with this hard, gem-like flame,
to maintain this ecstasy, is success in life.
-Walter Pater
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Critical thinking
Last night was my cousin's wedding and i attended to help collecting angpaws from the relatives, recorded their amount and their attendance.
My elder sis who was in holiday now away from the university has been offered help to record the relatives' attendance. I was in charge of the calculating the amounts of the angpaws. Because i'm not very good in calculating, so i asked my younger sis to help me in case i screwed things up.
I didn't know much about the chinese culture especially during the wedding night, but in my vague idea, before reaching to the restaurant, they would have to go checking their names and table number in a list of record. After checking, we who were in charge would have to tick their names according their attendance and collect their angpaws which had rooted as a traditional culture, i think, and in which also included the calculating of the amount of those angpaw.
My younger sister really pulled me through the difficulties of handling things, such as receiving those angpaws and checking those people's names listed in the records. I also helped in searching their names in the list.
Things wouldn't get much easier when it came to calculating. We would have to calculate the total amount and record the amount of every person who had attended the wedding dinner. The wedding dinner had started ;yet, although we all starved, we still needed to do our jobs. I heard that there's another way which after we received the angpaws, we calculated the money directly but in concealed. However, we were not following that way, inserting every angpaws in a plastic bags instead before entering a room to calculate. A very funny style.
And that room was basically the dressing room for the bride and groom. In the confine of the room, the sound of we-me, Nancy, elder sis and my cousin, Paul- echoed. We started calculating and after that I felt so starved and weary.. i looked at my younger sister's face and out of the blue i let out grievance.
'I think we just go back to eat instant noodles.'
And then, my elder sis burst out a hollow laugh. Then, she suddenly got so pissed off and let off steam on me ,'Hey, don't complain more and eat quickly.'
That came as a blow to me.
After that, mum came and asked what it had taken us so long that even we missed our dinner. When i saw mum came, i pitched all the fit and pressure in me at will, ' mum, i think i'm not full after having the dinner takeaway, i think we'd have to go back to have instant noodles.' I strained to make it a joke but it backfired into a very wry one.
I saw my elder sis's face a very bitter smile after Paul forced a smile on his face. I guess i had hurt him very badly.
After my mum's very resolute decision, we then came out with a whole figure. Then, we went back to the restaurant to have our dinner. We only had 3 or 4 dishes left to relish.
When we came back home, my sis threw a fit on me that i didn't care the others. Paul not even tasted a food and i still grumbled. And criticised me that i'm not aware about the others' thought when all the people in that room were hungry and i actually vented my resent out on impulse. And it was so inconsiderate and insensible of me to keep grumbling the whole night when people who were still working out on the figure and I was still in a mood of enjoying food.
I got so upset that i felt i didn't have any sense in expressing myself and in savour of inconsideration. Critical thinking, i realised, i needed to work hard on that or else sooner than later, people may got really put out because of what i did and what i had done.
My elder sis who was in holiday now away from the university has been offered help to record the relatives' attendance. I was in charge of the calculating the amounts of the angpaws. Because i'm not very good in calculating, so i asked my younger sis to help me in case i screwed things up.
I didn't know much about the chinese culture especially during the wedding night, but in my vague idea, before reaching to the restaurant, they would have to go checking their names and table number in a list of record. After checking, we who were in charge would have to tick their names according their attendance and collect their angpaws which had rooted as a traditional culture, i think, and in which also included the calculating of the amount of those angpaw.
My younger sister really pulled me through the difficulties of handling things, such as receiving those angpaws and checking those people's names listed in the records. I also helped in searching their names in the list.
Things wouldn't get much easier when it came to calculating. We would have to calculate the total amount and record the amount of every person who had attended the wedding dinner. The wedding dinner had started ;yet, although we all starved, we still needed to do our jobs. I heard that there's another way which after we received the angpaws, we calculated the money directly but in concealed. However, we were not following that way, inserting every angpaws in a plastic bags instead before entering a room to calculate. A very funny style.
And that room was basically the dressing room for the bride and groom. In the confine of the room, the sound of we-me, Nancy, elder sis and my cousin, Paul- echoed. We started calculating and after that I felt so starved and weary.. i looked at my younger sister's face and out of the blue i let out grievance.
'I think we just go back to eat instant noodles.'
And then, my elder sis burst out a hollow laugh. Then, she suddenly got so pissed off and let off steam on me ,'Hey, don't complain more and eat quickly.'
That came as a blow to me.
After that, mum came and asked what it had taken us so long that even we missed our dinner. When i saw mum came, i pitched all the fit and pressure in me at will, ' mum, i think i'm not full after having the dinner takeaway, i think we'd have to go back to have instant noodles.' I strained to make it a joke but it backfired into a very wry one.
I saw my elder sis's face a very bitter smile after Paul forced a smile on his face. I guess i had hurt him very badly.
After my mum's very resolute decision, we then came out with a whole figure. Then, we went back to the restaurant to have our dinner. We only had 3 or 4 dishes left to relish.
When we came back home, my sis threw a fit on me that i didn't care the others. Paul not even tasted a food and i still grumbled. And criticised me that i'm not aware about the others' thought when all the people in that room were hungry and i actually vented my resent out on impulse. And it was so inconsiderate and insensible of me to keep grumbling the whole night when people who were still working out on the figure and I was still in a mood of enjoying food.
I got so upset that i felt i didn't have any sense in expressing myself and in savour of inconsideration. Critical thinking, i realised, i needed to work hard on that or else sooner than later, people may got really put out because of what i did and what i had done.
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Regret
I have a conversation with a friend, and the conversation's course veered off course to about the girl, yong ee.
As she said different people have different personalities so we would have to endure whatever they have done. And suddenly i thought of what God have said..
路6：37 你们不要论断人，就不被论断，你们不要定人的罪。你们要饶恕人，就必蒙饶恕。
路17：4 倘若他一天七次得罪你，又七次回转说，我懊悔了，你总要饶恕他。
I suddenly regret what i think of what yong ee have done to me. What i have done is just sin. Hope He forgive what i have done. and the snippet of Amazing grace sounded in my ears.
Once blind but now i see.
Goosebumps raised and tears held back from trickling down. Amazing grace.
As she said different people have different personalities so we would have to endure whatever they have done. And suddenly i thought of what God have said..
路6：37 你们不要论断人，就不被论断，你们不要定人的罪。你们要饶恕人，就必蒙饶恕。
路17：4 倘若他一天七次得罪你，又七次回转说，我懊悔了，你总要饶恕他。
I suddenly regret what i think of what yong ee have done to me. What i have done is just sin. Hope He forgive what i have done. and the snippet of Amazing grace sounded in my ears.
Once blind but now i see.
Goosebumps raised and tears held back from trickling down. Amazing grace.
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